Naraku's Hangover or The Strangeness Continues
by chatnoir1
Summary: This story ties in with Naraku's Very Strange day. Poor Naraku, he has a sake hangover, there appear to be prayer beads around his neck and he is still getting no respect. I've decided, due to a few bad words and some sexual references, to up the rating.
1. Kikyo and Prayer Beads

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naraku. But I can have fun torturing him in fic.

This story ties in with **Naraku's Very Strange Day**. What can I say, I am out to fill the need for Naraku torture fics. It's how I show my love.

Naraku stirred. It was after noon. Something smelled awful. Something reeked more than a cave full of dead youkai. He sat up slowly, looking for the source of the smell. He didn't see anything but empty bottles of sake, lots of them. The smell was making his eyes water. Then he realized it was coming from him. A combination of sweat, sake and not having bathed nor changed clothes in a week. His neck was itching and he reached up to scratch it, then froze. There were beads around his neck. Prayer beads. The same kind Inuyasha wore. He stood up, his eyes flashing so fast they created a strobe effect. He took long breaths. Panicking would serve no purpose and he seemed to be the only person here. He would take a long hot bath and consider his options. He picked his way through the bottles, being careful not to break any. The last thing he needed right now was to be picking glass out of his feet for the next several days.

Naraku's bath was supplied by a continually flowing natural hot spring and had been for his private use only, so he was rather surprised to find it occupied. By Kikyo.

"Oi Naraku-chan. I told you that miasma wouldn't work on me." Kikyo leaned towards him sniffing. "Oh, wait. That's just you."

"Are you the one responsible for these?" Naraku pointed to the beads around his neck.

"No, but I can think of a good command. Play dead."

"Get. Out. Of. My. Bath. Bitch." Naraku massaged his aching temples.

Kikyo narrowed her eyes. "Kisama. It's big enough for two and it's not like I haven't seen what little you have to show before."

"NANI?"

"Well, you are no Inuyasha."

Naraku grabbed Kiyko, yanked her out of his bath, then threw her through the door way. He threw her clothes after her. He broke her bow and arrow into little bits, then stomped on them. He stripped and eased into the bath. Kaede was the one who had placed the beads on Inuyasha. Kagome had simply spoken the control word. Did the old hag take revenge for his having rejected her advances? Memories of Kaede's hand groping his thigh caused him to shudder. What if it was true? What if Kaede made him perform perversions as a price for removal of the beads? Not that he had anything against perversion, mind you, but he did have limits. And he was sure that Kaede was way the hell over the line. Could Sango have placed the beads on him? The possibility was remote, but the imagined scenarios provided a welcome diversion for the remainder of his bath. He glanced downwards. Little to show? Feh. He would never understand what Onigumo had seen in that annoying bitch.

When he emerged, Naraku smelled a great deal better, but his head was continuing to punish him for the sake. His futon was a lost cause, so he burned it, along with the clothes he had been wearing. Then he transported to Kaede's village.

Kaede, Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango and Shippo were enjoying their evening meal when Inuyasha suddenly sniffed and growled. "Naraku is here. Feh, smells like he's been on a sake binge as well."

Kagome ladled some stew into a bowl and passed it to Shippo. "He must have sobered up enough to discover the prayer beads around his neck."

Naraku went for dramatic entrance number 1, hair blowing, eyes blazing red, chin up, nostrils flared, lips pressed in a thin line. He paused for a few seconds for maximum effect, then using his most commanding voice, said "I demand to know who is responsible for these beads."

They looked up at him, then returned to their meals. Naraku decided to try again. Shimatta, this would never have happened if he still had his baboon pelt. Now that made a statement. The second time, he added a touch of miasma. Kagome and Sango coughed a little, that was it.

"What is wrong with you people? Why aren't you terrified?"

"I don't know." Kagome looked at him thoughtfully. "You just don't seem as terrifying without the baboon pelt. Plus, there is the fact that you smell like you fell into a vat of sake." She reached into her enormous backpack and pulled out a bar of soap. "Next time you bathe, try this." She handed the soap to him.

Kaede continued to stir the stew. "I do not know who put the beads on you Naraku. I wouldn't bother. I want you dead. Inuyasha wants you dead. Kagome wants you dead. Sango wants you dead. Miroku wants you dead before the year is up."

Shippo not wanting to be left out, spoke up "I want Naraku dead too."

Naraku's hangover was beginning to take on a life of its own and judging from the way he felt, it wanted him dead as well. And there was an unknown person out there with the ability to control him. Without another word, he took his soap and left.

"How long do you think it will take before he realizes those are fake beads?" Kagome mused.

Naraku sat on the ground next to the Bone-Eater's well, cradling his aching head. He had killed a rabbit; his stomach was telling him _Feed me, baka_, but his head was saying _I wouldn't do that if I were you_. He moaned.

"Naraku. I wouldn't think it possible, but you have become even more pitiful." Sesshomaru sniffed disdainfully.

"Go the fuck away."

"I should kill you, but in your present state it would be an act of mercy. I have my reputation to think of. Yours seems to have vanished with your baboon pelt."

"Someone put prayer beads around my neck."

"Are you certain?" Shesshomaru looked at the beads. "Have you tried to remove them?"

"No. I just assumed..." Naraku had this feeling of foreboding. He grabbed the beads and slid them over his head without any trouble. His face turned a shade of red to match his eyes."IIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!" His screams were heard across all Japan. Sesshomaru almost cracked a smile. Almost.

Back at Kaede's cottage, Kaede nodded. "He knows now." Everyone collapsed in fits of laughter.

Naraku threw the offending beads, unfortunately catching Sesshomaru right in the left eye. Sesshomaru's eyes turned red and he flexed the claws on his right hand. It began to take on a greenish hue (so did Naraku) as he charged up his poison claws. Naraku did what he did best, he got the hell out of there, leaving his rabbit behind. He returned to the castle and set up a barrier, then spent the rest of the night honing his brooding skills.

_Owari_


	2. Inuyasha

The next morning, Naraku was still sitting there brooding, when Kikyo walked up.

"Ohayo, Naraku-chan."

"Don't call me that." He growled, wondering why the hell he even bothered to put up a barrier anymore. "I do not desire company, especially yours."

Kikyo tried to look pouty and failed miserably (though she did manage to creep Naraku out) "Is it because of my Inuyasha comment?"

"Yes. I mean no." Naraku snorted in frustration. "Shimatta woman, why do you continue to stalk me?"

"It amuses me. I like to see you squirm."

"I thought you wanted me dead."

"I do, but annoying you will do for now." She sat on the floor next to him, prompting Naraku to jump to his feet rather abruptly. Which led to dizziness. Which led to his falling directly upon Kikyo. Which led to his, ehm, innocent groping of the ex-Miko's breasts.

"HENTAI!" Kikyo landed a punch that sent Naraku flying several feet.

Naraku sat up, rubbed his jaw and smirked. "Considering I woke up to find you naked and in my bed, uninvited I might add, that is a rather bold accusation."

"I wasn't uninvited. You begged me."

Naraku snorted. "Maybe Onigumo was trying to come out again. I'd beg you to put your clothes back on. Speaking of which, do you own any other clothes, besides that red and white outfit?"

"I look good in that outfit."

"It isn't very feminine. I think your rival Kagome has the better idea, with those short skirts. She has the strangest undergarments though." (A.N. Naraku the panty thief) Naraku stood, more slowly this time. "This is becoming very tiresome. If you refuse to leave, then I will." He left in a swirl of black smoke.

Naraku landed in the forest a good distance away. He was looking for a potential meal, possibly a rabbit, when Inuyasha arrived.

"Oi, Naraku." Inuyasha drew the Tetsusaiga, grinning. "Still hungover? I have a cure. I'll cut off your ugly head."

"Doesn't anyone here have manners? Am I threatening you right now? Can't I be allowed to hunt in peace? And I happen to be very handsome, except during that time of the month, but I can hardly be blamed for that."

Inuyasha growled. "I want you dead."

"Yes, yes, I know. You want me dead, Kikyo wants me dead, and so forth." Naraku yawned and waved his hand. "Be a good doggie and run along home to Kagome."

"Kisama."

Naraku caught a rabbit and quickly snapped its neck. Not bothering with making a fire and cooking the beast, he ate it, while he continued his conversation with Inuyasha. "Well, since you are here, I have a question. Your crazy ex-girlfriend is becomming a problem for me."

"Maya is back?"

"Who is Maya? I was talking about Kikyo."

"Gomen."

"How many crazy ex-girlfriends do you have?"

Inuyasha stood there and thought.(a tumbleweed rolls by..I know this is Japan, but humor me) 

"Inuyasha?"

"Just those two. Most of my ex-girlfriends might be considered strange, even frightening, but I think Kikyo and Maya are the only true crazy ones."

"How about Kagome?"

"We are friends. She is much too bossy and sit-happy to be girlfriend material."

"Some males like that in a woman. She has a nice body, well toned from her travels here."

"What do you know about Kagome's body?"

"You have forgotten about Kanna's mirror. In addition to stealing and storing souls, it enabled me to spy on you. Neither Kagome nor Sango have any secrets from me at least as far as their physical bodies go. When none of the males are around, I've seen them pleasure one another."

Inuyasha turned bright red. "HENTAI!!" Inuyasha raised the Tetsusaiga.

"That's the second time I've been called that today. You know, if I were you and that monk, I'd start paying more attention to the needs of your women, before they realize how unnecessary you are." Naraku smirked. This was the most fun he'd gotten in quite some time. He was sure Inuyasha would go storming back to Kaede's village and confront Kagome, and Sango as well. They wanted to play mind games with him? So be it. He was the master of manipulation. "Well, it's been fun, Inu-chan. Give my regards to the girls. Ja ne." And then he disappeared in his usual swirl of black smoke.

Inuyasha, indeed, did exactly what Naraku expected. In return, Kagome also responded as Naraku expected. She sat Inuyasha until Sango interceded, fearing he'd be permanently damaged. When informed as to why Kagome was sitting Inuyasha, Sango bitch slapped him. Inuyasha found the whole thing unfair. Kagome and Sango's response was to yell "BAKA" at him until he feared he'd go deaf. Miroku went off to find a quiet spot where he could fanatasize about Kagome and Sango together and not be disturbed. Shippo decided it was adult business and dug through Kagome's backpack until he found some candy. After they had finished yelling at Inuyasha, who took refuge in a tree, Sango and Kagome went off to do some serious planning.


	3. Naraku Strikes Back

We all know I do not own Inuyasha. I write to keep my sanity and deprive Naraku of his, not that he has much to begin with.  
This part gets a little darker folks

It had been a few weeks but things were still tense between Inuyasha and Kagome. He hadn't forgiven her for sitting him and she hadn't forgiven him for believing Naraku. Sure there had been that one brief experimentation with Sango, which it seems Naraku had witnessed, but that had been it. Sango was hoping to reform Miroku and Kagome was hoping Inuyasha would grow up and forget about the dead girlfriend. She needed some touch, dammit. Damn Inuyasha. Damn Naraku. Damn, damn, damn. She tossed and turned muttering to herself all night.

Early the next morning, Sango and Kagome left the cottage for a secret meeting with Kikyo to discuss Naraku strategy. Inuyasha, Miroku and Shippo had been ordered to keep away. They arrived at the appointed meeting place to find not only Kikyo, but Kagura and Kanna as well. 

"Ohayo."

"Ohayo, Kagome-san. I hope you don't mind. I invited Kagura and Kanna to come."

"It's ok. Kanna, can that mirror really be used to spy on others? Naraku told Inuyasha that he used it to spy on us, especially Sango and me." Kagome turned red, remembering her confrontation with Inuyasha over Naraku.

"Hai."

"Can we use it to spy on Naraku?"

"Hai."

Kagura added "Well, until he figures it out. He knows Kanna still has her mirror and he is suspicious by nature, and I hate to admit it, smart."

They gathered about to look in the mirror. An image appeared of a freshly bathed Naraku wearing a yukata. An un-sashed yukata. Nothing else. Kagome and Sango averted their eyes briefly, Kikyo and Kagura looked bored. Kanna wasn't looking at all. Naraku sat on his futon, crossed legged, and picked up something on the floor next to it. A pair of panties. Thong style.

"So that is where they went. I had suspected Miroku had taken them. This is just too creepy."

The girls watched as Naraku tried to puzzle out the mysteries of thong panties. Then he held them to his nose and sniffed them. Kagome was mortified. What happened next sent her well beyond that.

"Oh no, gods no. He isn't going to.."

"He is."

Kagome looked on in horror as Naraku masturbated with her underwear. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. Sango, Kikyo and Kagura watched as well, the latter put her hands over Kanna's eyes to sheild her. Naraku continued until he had reached his release, then wiped himself off with the panties. Wearing a smirk that sent a chill down Kagome's spine, he dressed and left.

"I think I've seen enough for right now." Kagome's legs gave out and she collapsed on the grass.

Kagura shivered. "I didn't like that look. That is the look he had when he chained me to the wall for days, after I tried to leave him. He's planning something."

"Wonderful."

Naraku knew exactly where Inuyasha would be, in his favorite tree, sulking. He was predictable. They all were. It took a little of the fun out of it. Inuyasha dropped from the tree with surprising grace as Naraku approached.

"Bakayarou."

"I am not here to fight with you, Inuyasha. I need you to return these to Kagome." He held up the thong panties. "Tell her that the next time she should bring Sango." He tossed the panties to Inuyasha.

Inuyasha did not need to bring the panties to his nose to pick up the mix of scents, Kagome, Naraku and...he dropped the panties in shock.

"I wasn't her first, so I assume that pleasure was yours." Naraku looked at Inuyasha's expression. "No? You have had her, haven't you?" Naraku laughed. "I know she wants you. Any idiot, well almost any idiot, could see that. She's worth a ride."

"Shut the fuck up."

Miroku came running up. Naraku didn't seem to be here to fight, but you never knew.

"Ah, I see the hentai monk has joined us. How's the Kazaana? I would avoid using it so much if I were you, it only hastens the inevitable. Still looking for a woman to bear your child?" Naraku shook his head in amusement. "Not much for conversation are you. Well, I have other matters to see to anyway, such as locating my treacherous minions and my Saimyoushou. Ja ne."

"What was that all about?"

Inuyasha picked up Kagome's panties. "Naraku came to return these. They're Kagome's. Her scent is on it, along with Naraku's." Inuyasha's hand closed tightly "And it smells of sex."

"Which proves nothing. It's Naraku, Inuyasha. Kagome wants him stiff, but not in that way."

"Naraku said he wasn't her first. I know she has that boy in her time, Hoho or Hobo, something like that. Maybe.."

"Maybe nothing. I think I understand more about women than you do, trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about."

Kagome and Sango came running up. "Wasn't that Naraku? What did he want."

"He came to return these." Inuyasha handed her the panties.

"Oh, so that's what he planned to do with your panties." Kagome gave Sango a look.

"You KNEW he had your panties?"

"It's not what you think!"

"How do you know what I think?!"

"Inuyasha."

"What?"

"SIT! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!!!!" Kagome stormed off to Kaede's cottage, Sango close behind. Miroku shook his head at Inuyasha and went off to find Shippo.

_Owari_


	4. Kagome's Revenge

Disclaimer: I did not create Inuyasha and I make no money from this. I write purely for the joy of it.

Kagome sat on the futon, staring into space, not moving. Sango was worried. Kagome hadn't moved or spoken for the last few hours. Sango wished Kaede was here, but she was visiting a nearby village for a few days. Kagome was still trying to come to terms with the fact that Naraku had stolen a pair of her soiled underwear, done perverted things with them, then given them to Inuyasha. Naraku would pay. A plan began to form in Kagome's mind and she smiled.

"Sango, we need to find Kikyo. She can pass through Naraku's barriers."

"How will we do that?"

"Just follow the Shinidamachuu."

"Oi Kagome. I'm starving." Shippo came in follwed by Miroku and a wary Inuyasha.

"There's ramen in my backpack. Sango and I have business to take care of, you will have to feed yourselves."

"NANI?" All three said at once, well shouted in Inuyasha's case.

"You managed to feed yourselves before we met, you can manage now." Kagome grabbed her bow and arrow, Sango her hiraikotsu and they rushed out.

"Should we follow them?"

"Do you want Kagome to sit you again?"

"Iie. Damned Naraku. Now we have to fix our own meal." Inuyasha sat there and sulked while Miroku and Shippo went to gather some vegetables from the village garden.

"You are going to have to contribute something other than obscenities if you want to share in the meal, Inuyasha. Why don't you go look for a rabbit or something to add to the stew?" (A.N. Yes, I seem to kill a lot of rabbits in my fic, but I promise I have nothing against them) Continuing to mutter curses against uppity females, pushy monks, Naraku and life in general, Inuyasha went out to hunt.

It was nearing dusk when Kagome and Sango located Kikyo. Kagura was still with her, but Kanna was missing.

"Konbanwa, Kikyo-san. I need your help with a plan to get back at Naraku for the panties. You and Kagura can pass through his barrier. Where is Kanna?"

"Kanna has returned to Naraku, Kohaku as well."

"Well, here is the plan.." They gathered around Kagome as she laid out the plan and assigned roles. Kikyo would go through the barrier and initiate the first phase. Then Kagura would take over in phase two, not passing through the barrier until she was sure Kikyo had successfully completed phase one. Kagura would transport the victim to the waiting Kagome and Sango for phase three. It all depended on Kikyo's being able to accomplish her task.

Naraku was in the limbo between being asleep and awake, when he felt something touch his nether region. Something sharp. It pushed in a little as he became fully awake. Kikyo was kneeling next to the fouton and she had an arrow pointed at a most unfortunate place. "A simple Konnichiwa or Konbanwa would be more suitable. It is rather rude to waken a man by poking him in the crotch with an arrow."

"Depends on the man. Besides, you are more youkai than human." She stood up. "Who is that screaming?"

"Kohaku. As punishment for desertion, I locked him in a room and returned his memories."

"And Kanna"

"I took away her mirror and locked her in a room. She is at present carving new kugutsu for me. I haven't decided what I will do with Kagura. Maybe lock her in a room with the Saimyoushou. She hates them." Kikyo sat on the floor and poured a cup of tea. Naraku watched her through narrowed eyes. "Did I invite you to stay and have tea?" As he was throwing off the remainder of the blanket Kikyo took the opportunity to slip the sleep herbs into her cup of tea. Naraku took the cup from her and drank the tea. Just as she predicted.

"I dozed off and the tea has been left to sit too long. It is a bit bitter." His eyes widened and he looked at her. "You've drugged it." He grabbed Kikyo by the throat and began to choke her. Then he fell forward and knocked them both to the ground. Kikyo found herself once more in a compromising position underneath Naraku, a mostly naked Naraku. She rolled him off of her, then she grabbed him by the arms and started to drag him from the castle. When she had him outside and was sure he was unconscious, she fetched Kagura for stage two. Kagura produced one of her feathers and created a transport for the two of them, then she flew off with the unconscious Naraku.

Kagome and Sango were waiting at a shrine located next to what was normally a heavily travelled road. Kagura landed and dumped the unconscious Naraku on the ground. Then the three of them went to work. They removed Naraku's yukata, then they staked him out, spreadeagled, where the roads met. They placed rosary beads around the bindings at his wrists and ankles and added a few wards Kagome took from Miroku. Better safe than sorry. As a final touch, Kagome wrote "hentai" on his chest. Then they sat to wait, eventually dozing off. It was almost dawn when Naraku's curses woke them.

"What in the fuck is going on?"

"Ohayo, Naraku-chan."

"I asked a question and do not call me that."

"You decided it would be fun to humiliate me, so I decided to return the favor." Naraku let loose with a string of curses so vile, the leaves on nearby trees withered. "Those are real prayer beads. I'm not completely heartless like you though, any passing monk can remove them for you. One should come along eventually. You are also warded, so you can't access any of those hundreds of youkai you have inside of you. Have a nice day."

The three girls sat by the entrance of the shrine and watched for a while. Most travellers seemed amused by the naked, bound man. A few stopped to scold and urge him to mend his ways. Kikyo showed up about an hour later, with a basket of rotting fuits and vegetables which she placed next to Naraku, just in case someone wanted to express his or her contempt in a more physical way. After a couple of hours, the girls left. Kagura returned briefly to Naraku's castle to rescue Kanna. She was unable to help Kohaku, the only one who could do that was Naraku.

Naraku lay there at the crossroads for almost three days, before a passing monk took pity and removed the rosary. During that time, he had been spat on, scolded, pelted with rotted fruits and vegetables and peed on by more than one horse. He was sunburned in places he didn't want to think about. He was beyond rage and snapped the monk's neck in return for his kindness. He stripped him, dressed, and then headed back home. He decided what he needed, other than a bath and strong drink, was to do his monthly ritual and purge the youkai parts of him that had grown weak. He would do that elsewhere, since his current residence was too well known. After bathing and limiting himself to one bottle of sake, he wiped Kohaku's memory and released him. Then the two of them left. When he was strong again, he would go after those bitches.

_Owari_


End file.
